Yesterday was probably the toughest day I have had in a very long time, probably since May of last year. I try to look at things and reflect on them and what they mean about my life. There has been a theme throughout my life lately, a disappointment with people not showing up to their full potential. I've been watching it and hearing my instructors with the same message. I've looked at it as though I was fully committed but they weren't. Though I believe yesterday was a test to strip everything down and knock me off my high horse. My showing up may be more than most people's best but it's not my best and not my fullest potential. So as I head to the training center today, I bring with me a new commitment to my training and my nutrition. I have to push myself to the highest possible place, regardless of what I am surrounded by. My inspiration comes from within.
So I have thought about this for a while. Do I actually write this post? Do I put my dirty laundry out there for everyone? Or the handful that read my blog. And if I do, what do I say? Do I slam those involved? Do I take the high road? When is a “good” time to put it out there? A few days under my belt and there is probably no better time. So no secret, my ex-boyfriend was my coach. That worked out mildly well while we were together but add a breakup and somehow it just doesn’t work out as smoothly. Add a few of the worst things a person could do to another in there and disaster doesn’t even begin to describe. But I have this eternal belief that I can make any situation work. That I can fix things. It’s what makes me good at my job. I’m an eternal optimist. But it’s what causes me to not be so good at my personal life. Even when things are clearly not good, I still think I can fix it and make it right...
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