Coach Kirstin

There are times when you are expected to be nervous. But those times you know what to do with the nerves, where they come from, what will make them subside. Then there are times when your nerves get the best of you and you can't explain why. It's a somewhat natural reaction but your reaction becomes unnatural, unexplainable. And your not sure what causes it so you don't know how to handle it. Things are black and white to me, ask any one I work with. Not knowing the cause of a feelings is unfamiliar territory. I cant wrap my head around it and solve it, which is what I do with everything. So I do the only thing I can do. You take a deep breath and hold on to what you know.

So lasagna is like that rare homemade treat that I just love but no one ever makes me, I now know why...they are a pain in the ass.  Fantastic none the less.  Since I began researching Paleo recipes I had noticed the use of zucchini in place of pasta, notably in lasagna.  I actually love zucchini, probably my fav veggie other tomatoes.  So I had been dying to make one.  Low and behold, guess what arrives in our veggie box.  4 zucchini.  Opportunity.  Minor problem.  Ive never made a lasagna in my life.  Thank goodness for Google.  I knew the things I liked in my lasagna, some things I wanted to try.  So I searched away and the best recipe I found was this one by The Pioneer Woman .  I had found much fancier ones but thats not really what I was looking for.  And all the paleo ones take out cheese.  Lets be honest, your waisting your time with a lasagna that doesn't have cheese.  Life just isn't worth living w...

Anyone that knows me, would tell you, the thing that gets in my way is my own head. My own fear holds me back.  Its not my lack of skill of my inability, its that I doubt both of those.  Ive been told it a few times.  But it never set in until today.  I had a hard session of sparring a few weeks back.  I won't lie, it hurt.  And I hurt for a while after wards.  And then it held me back.  But there was no stopping today.  I had run out of reasons not to come to practice.  So I came.  And sparred. And then the round I was afraid of happened.  Coach Ric.  I got hit, it wasn't that bad...my own head had made it worse than it was.  I could take a whole lot more than I had thought.  I was holding my self back.

It's probably the hardest part of my job. Not because I don't like it or it's a pain, but because it's that fine art form of giving someone enough rope but not enough to hang themselves. And because I'm a demanding perfectionist but that's beside the point. The thing is, I've made it to this point in my career because I had some amazing mentors, some I even still call friends. People that had patience with me as I fumbled through learning new technologies, spoke my mind a little too often and learned who I was along the way. They guided me about what to think about, how to approach projects and people, traps I'd fall into, traps I'd set for others and how to explain things I found very simple but not everyone did. I'm direct, somedays to a fault. Which is my biggest obstacle when I mentor someone. Because the first words out of my mouth are usually "You fucked up now go fix it." But if I had heard that all the times I deserved it, I...