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Meeting the friends

So my regular group of friends is pretty tight.  We have brunch together at the same place and generally the same time every sunday.  Its the same jokes and fun.  We get along really well and we get each other.  I made the fateful mistake of bring a guy I was dating to this event.  Disaster doesn't quite describe it.  But it was painful.  The jokes and humor wasn't shared.  Which put a damper on the festivities.  We disbanded for the day.  Repeat again today, a guy was being introduced to the group.  He was at least part of the conversation at times.  But our usual antics and humor, didn't work with him.  

So I was wondering: are we just a tight knit group and we don't let others in?  or are we judgmental of those our friends date?

Meeting the person you are dating's friends can be a really big deal.  Thats like make or break.  They were there before you.  They hear about you when your not around.  When you do something that annoys me, they hear about it and give me advice about it.  They are like 3 little personalities sitting on my shoulder giving me advice (I opted not to label one good or bad because I don't know what the third would be or maybe they are all as crazy as me).  And if you mess up, they are in my ear about what to do.  

But meeting the friends is tricky.  I can honestly say that nothing would quite prepare you for brunch with my friends.  And you will be lucky if they like you on the other side.  And if they don't, your pretty much sunk after that.  Maybe this will be my new test 

Comments

  1. UnknownApril 1, 2013 at 8:22 PM

    well I don't think I even came close to the friends list, and I could have been much more into the convo, however in light from what I had seen me being the "date guy" I really felt left out of the group, sad to say, but I am completely 100% with what you have to say, infact what interests me the most is why people do that? why do you expect so much of the people your friends are dating, if you are judgemental towards them, I wouldn't ever, in a million years try to put you or anyone out of a convo, especially if you knew I was sitting there all quiet? I would put the effort in to make sure you were included, #1 seating arrangement was at an awkward angle, #2 everyone looked as though I was not there even though I was, #3 every joke, humorous quote, was never intended to allow me to join a conversation, and if i started a conversation, I was completely ignored after 3 mins of it, when it became irrelevant, One thing that makes it interesting, is being the date, I figured my potential partner would have said a little more to make me feel like I was apart of your group, I hate being left out and looked at as a bad apple, but I truly was the rotten one there from the very start.

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  2. UnknownApril 1, 2013 at 10:23 PM

    Meeting the friends is a tricky situation of a potential partner is tricky. The friends try to determine if the new "anomaly" fits, if the potential partner is worthy of their friend, and can sometimes even be jealous of the budding relationship. However, just as you would dress or exercise to impress the potential partner, you need to do the same for the people that they care most about; the friends. Yes, there needs to be some tempered expectations due to the aforementioned reasons, but it's still up to the new person to win the friends and if you truly care about the person, you will win the friends whether they want you to or not based off your love and care. The friends will see that you make their friend happy and that your good for the potential partner aka their friend

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