So I'm just a little crazy

Some times I think I might be going crazy. That or I'm just becoming someone I hate.

Right now my weight is 152.2. Exactly where I agreed with my coach to keep it. Makes going to 135 a whole lot easier. But I feel fat.

Last week was my rest week. I also try and give my mind a rest. I eat without thinking and I don't weigh myself. So honestly when I step on the scale the Monday after that week, I'm always terrified what it's going to say. And this was no exception. Because in my mind, I was fat. I had seen my body evolve as it always does during a fight cycle, and I wasn't there.

But I stepped on the scale and 152.2. Two days in a row.

But I'm not happy where I'm at. I feel like one of those crazy chic's who is always dieting and still says she's fat. Because in reality, this is the best shape I have ever been in my whole life. But I'm still not satisfied with where I'm at. Or maybe it's my mind saying "These cuts aren't any fun, lets just stay at a lower weight". Or maybe it's pure vanity. That I like seeing my abs. As though they are proof that I work really hard.

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Coach Kirstin

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