I try not to watch my fights. Watching them, even the wins, makes me mad at all the things I did wrong. It's all I can see. I hate everything I see. I watch them with my coach the week after, I get his feedback and try and let it go. But yesterday I was written up in an article and they had the video of my second fight in it. So I watched it. And for the first time, I was proud of some of the things I did. And then I watched my third fight. And I watched my takedowns and was happy with what I saw. I still saw everything that was wrong but for the first time I saw something's that I was proud of.
So I have thought about this for a while. Do I actually write this post? Do I put my dirty laundry out there for everyone? Or the handful that read my blog. And if I do, what do I say? Do I slam those involved? Do I take the high road? When is a “good” time to put it out there? A few days under my belt and there is probably no better time. So no secret, my ex-boyfriend was my coach. That worked out mildly well while we were together but add a breakup and somehow it just doesn’t work out as smoothly. Add a few of the worst things a person could do to another in there and disaster doesn’t even begin to describe. But I have this eternal belief that I can make any situation work. That I can fix things. It’s what makes me good at my job. I’m an eternal optimist. But it’s what causes me to not be so good at my personal life. Even when things are clearly not good, I still think I can fix it and make it right...
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