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Hate

Normally it's a strong word that I rarely feel I can use. Until I'm 2 weeks out from my fight. My body and mind are tired and I just want to fight. I don't hate you because your Asian, black or any other race. I don't hate you because your male or female, homophobic or gay. I don't hate you because you are skinny or fat, tall or short.

No, I hate you because you get to eat and drink what ever you like. With reckless abandon you can eat and drink. Yes there are consequences but 95% you don't care about those consequences. You go to the gym as you like and eat when you feel hungry. But that's not me. The next 12 days are strictly prescribed and adhered too, being watched and monitored by my coaches. You know in Mr and Mrs Smith at the end when they are fighting and Brad Pitt says "there is no air around you". Unfortunately, that's me. I like plans and routines. I follow and don't deviate. It's why I can stick to it and make it to the end.

So when I don't smile or laugh with you, it's because I want to punch you in the face for eating that bacon cheeseburger within a 50 yard vicinity.

It's not you, it's me.

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