I had my first re-feed day on Saturday. Its about the only thing that kept me going through this, that and milk. I had it all laid out how I was going to eat my way through the day day. Well I made it about half way on my planned stops. Apparently my stomach shrunk a little. It also had no tolerance for what I was eating. I started off with 2 bowls of Lucky Charms and a Red Velvet cupcake, and then I went to yoga. After yoga I had one more bowl and went to Krav. By that point my stomach was already a little bubbly. I taught and pretty much every thing ran through me for the rest of the day. I met Jenn for Matchbox and we had cinnamon rolls and waffles. I went back and taught the workshop. I had the full intention of going out and getting a sandwich in the middle but I was still stuffed. After the workshop I went home and showered and headed to 5 guys. I was dying for a cheeseburger but I was still stuffed. I ate what I could and had a soda a fries with it. I snacked a bit a crackers, cookies and a cupcake during the fights but also had a bunch of chocolate milk and juice. Who knew it could be so exciting to drink juice! The morning of my re-feed day I weighed 147.4 and Sunday morning I was at 147.6, far less change than I expected based on what I ate. I had a busy day yesterday with groceries, cleaning, laundry, gas, target, costco, cleaning the storage closet and cleaning the filing cabinets, though I didn’t eat much. I had my usual breakfast but this is the week for Hot Rox, which kept my appetite at bay most of the day. I had 3 pieces of cheese and a couple walnuts before bed to help me sleep. I woke up today at 146.6. That’s the lowest I have been since at least my knee surgery 5 years ago, but its definitely my leanest. I need Chris to come back so I can do a baseline measurement because Jess had very different BF readings. I can see how people get addicted to weight loss, especially control freaks such as my self. Its also been very interesting to see how hard I can push my self on low calorie. This past week was much more even and my energy felt better.
So I have thought about this for a while. Do I actually write this post? Do I put my dirty laundry out there for everyone? Or the handful that read my blog. And if I do, what do I say? Do I slam those involved? Do I take the high road? When is a “good” time to put it out there? A few days under my belt and there is probably no better time. So no secret, my ex-boyfriend was my coach. That worked out mildly well while we were together but add a breakup and somehow it just doesn’t work out as smoothly. Add a few of the worst things a person could do to another in there and disaster doesn’t even begin to describe. But I have this eternal belief that I can make any situation work. That I can fix things. It’s what makes me good at my job. I’m an eternal optimist. But it’s what causes me to not be so good at my personal life. Even when things are clearly not good, I still think I can fix it and make it right...
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