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Someday Ill learn to manage my stress

So I had a nice relaxing vacation last week. I kept aware of what was going on at work but not on top of it. I came in on Friday afternoon to catch up with my boss and to have a little handoff since he was out this week. Though the reality is, there is just no way to handoff. My boss and I divide an conquer really well (theoretically thats what a PM and their deputy do), but it means there are things I just don't have any idea about and same goes for him. But when one of us is gone, it's tough because you hit the ground running to cover. On par with normal, that's how this week has been. I fortunately have an amazingly bright team that works for me, that covers me. 

I had been prepping for an extremely high level demo of our capabilities for the majority of my Monday morning, when I received notice that one of my very technical managers whom I rely on heavily had given his two weeks notice. One hour later, another key manager told me he didn't think he could do the job and wanted to resign. It was honestly just more than I could handle. Oh and I should mention that I had a minor wardrobe malfunction that was causing to me pretty much flash everyone when I walked, which I discovered as I went to the bathroom just before this meeting.  I guess its a good think I choose to wear underwear that matched my dress that day.

Most days I can roll with things pretty well, handling them and not usually letting them get to me.  But for the last 3 weeks I haven't been able to go to the gym because of a minor surgery.  I know this but have become brutally aware of the balance that going to the gym at the end of the day provides me.  Its my stress release but its also a cut off from the work day.  For at least an hour, I don't check my phone or think about it.  It allows me to end my work day.  I have tried to find other things to do.  I have reorganized and cleaned out pretty much any and everything I can in my place (bathroom, closet, storage, pantry, dresser all squared away).  Im even knocking off some way over due items off my to do list.  This morning I actually decided meditation is next because Im about to loose my mind.  

The way I prioritize my work is what is going to break first.  Yesterday that was todays demo, if I screwed that up I was putting my career and few others at risk.  So I couldn't really deal with my personnel issues. I had a hard time sleeping last night which is unusual for me and only got about 3 hours of sleep.  Today went good.  Talked the manager out of resigning and together we tackled the other issues.  The demo didn't actually occur but my team was none the less well prepared and actually solved some background issues.  I cleaned up a few things before I left around 6:30.  I made it home, changed into my pj's and was immediately out cold for 2 hours.  Pretty unusual for me.  I probably would have slept until the morning if the roomies boyfriend hadn't made the most yummy smelling dinner.  You know that Folger's commercial where they wake up because of the smell of coffee, thats me with food. 

Sometimes stress is good.  It can motivate you.  It can keep you going long enough to get everything taken care of.  But when the stress is gone, reality sets in and there is nothing left to keep you going.  Sometimes you don't even realize how stressed you are until your body forces you to stop.     

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