Why do we have friends? Is it what they provide us? Or what we provide them? Or both. Thinking about it, friends are kind of a selfish thing we do for ourselves. We like them for what they add to our lives. For the support they provide us. For the things they do for us. It's not what I get to do for them that is why I like them, though after the friendship has developed that part does become important, but what I get from our friendship. I was thinking about this because I have a longtime friend (probably 4 or 5 years) who was an exceptionally good friend after my breakup but despite my repeatedly setting boundaries, they are ignored. So it makes me evaluate this friendship. Is it even something I want to keep if this person doesn't respect and believe what I have told them. The behavior of this person is causing me to cancel and limit our interactions, so I have almost ended it but I was wondering if it was really a friendship. Or was it always just that self serving thing we do as people? Can I really fault him for doing what we all do in any friendship, looking to serve our interests.
So I have thought about this for a while. Do I actually write this post? Do I put my dirty laundry out there for everyone? Or the handful that read my blog. And if I do, what do I say? Do I slam those involved? Do I take the high road? When is a “good” time to put it out there? A few days under my belt and there is probably no better time. So no secret, my ex-boyfriend was my coach. That worked out mildly well while we were together but add a breakup and somehow it just doesn’t work out as smoothly. Add a few of the worst things a person could do to another in there and disaster doesn’t even begin to describe. But I have this eternal belief that I can make any situation work. That I can fix things. It’s what makes me good at my job. I’m an eternal optimist. But it’s what causes me to not be so good at my personal life. Even when things are clearly not good, I still think I can fix it and make it right...
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