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Selfish?


Sometimes I wonder if being single is just where I am more comfortable.  Or maybe I’m just selfish.  Or maybe I've spent too much of my life trying to please others and I just want to do what pleases me.  It pleases me to sleep in my own bed and be on my own schedule.  If I'm running late, the only person impacted is me.  If I want to waste away an hour laying on the floor petting the cat, no one gets irritated.  I love spending time with my friends, but I’m also a notorious canceler.  The gym makes me happy.  And I arrange my life around that.  My friends know that I will give them as much of me as I can spare, but sometimes that means putting up with a smelly me that just got done at the gym.  Sometimes I think I'm just not ready to date.  That I'm in a selfish phase.  That it wouldn't be such a big deal to me to share my time and be considerate of someone if I was ready.  That things wouldn't irritate me the way they do.  Or as I told a friend the other day "I already have 6 men in my life telling me what to do, I don't really need any more."  I was referring to my coaches. 

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