Skip to main content

We made it to 2 weeks!

Today I felt invincible. I managed to take a shower, then go to the Dr for my allergy shot and then a quick stop at Target for a few things.  Mostly for panties, as two trips to Target by the husband have mostly resulted in panties he would like to see me in, as opposed to ones that don't interfere with my scar. Timing is of course everything but McKenna was a super star. She had a few fusses but soothed herself and stayed asleep. We did have a feeding and diaper change at the allergy at Dr but that's it. Speaking of, why don't all public bathrooms have changing tables? Things I was oblivious to until now. 

This week has been a roller coaster.  The husband went back to work for the week and his parents came to help. They are incredibly sweet and well intentioned but it was a tough change.  It was hard to be away from Chris for a long duration for the first time since going into labor, something that didn't cross my mind until we had spent the day apart.  Chris and I also had a routine down and I didn't have to ask or decide much. He basically kept me on a food schedule and knew all the other things to do for our house. His parents were very helpful but they were new to our routine. It's also incredibly overwhelming to have people in your space when you are trying to figure out what the fuck you are supposed to be doing to take care of a little person.  Lesson learned, it may have been better to have Chris home for two weeks before going back to work.

I also had my first random tears. I was telling  McKenna how much I loved her and that I was afraid to mess up. And I just started crying. It actually still makes me get teary as I write this. There is way too much wrapped into those simple words to explain, I'll save it for counseling. It's also hard to explain to Chris why I am suddenly crying with very little reason. Actually the reason is I am postpartum, that sums it up. 

We had our first bath at home, which was probably more traumatic on us than on McKenna. Or maybe on Scotch who came running from outside to her aid from the first cry and tried to save her the entire time. The last of her umbilical cord fell off this morning so that should make tomorrows bath a whole lot less traumatic (a.k.a cold). 

We had 2 nights of being up from 12-4, which resulted in the husband sleeping on the couch in the basement.  One of those nights I also over nursed her and she threw up. Which makes you just feel awful for overfeeding, for vomitting and then because you still can't console her. Then she slept like a champ the next night. 

Oh and we "celebrated" our anniversary. Basically we had a glass of Prosecco together while I nursed. 

Then this morning she looked at me and for the first time, she saw me. Every day prior to this she just looked blankly in my direction. Everything from the last week became worth it in that one moment.







Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Untitled

So I have thought about this for a while.  Do I actually write this post?  Do I put my dirty laundry out there for everyone? Or the handful that read my blog.  And if I do, what do I say? Do I slam those involved?  Do I take the high road?  When is a “good” time to put it out there?  A few days under my belt and there is probably no better time. So no secret, my ex-boyfriend was my coach.  That worked out mildly well while we were together but add a breakup and somehow it just doesn’t work out as smoothly.  Add a few of the worst things a person could do to another in there and disaster doesn’t even begin to describe.  But I have this eternal belief that I can make any situation work.  That I can fix things.  It’s what makes me good at my job.  I’m an eternal optimist. But it’s what causes me to not be so good at my personal life.  Even when things are clearly not good, I still think I can fix it and make it right...
1 comment
Read more

Skipped a week to savor the end of my maternity leave

So I skipped week 11.  Mostly because I was in tears about having to leave McKenna and go back to work.  Mom guilt is a real thing.  It also makes me very angry about the maternity leave policy in this country.  It wasn’t something I honestly paid attention to before.  Maybe because I wasn’t planning on being a mom for a long time. Or probably because I assumed that is just a benefit you give people.  Now I am learning, we are about as good as a third world country.  We don’t even give government employees a maternity benefit.  No surprise that private companies wouldn’t feel obligated to provide that.   My time home with McKenna has been amazing.  I know so much about her, , her likes, her preferences, her behaviors and her routine.  We have had the benefit of setting our own schedule.  I don’t have to rush out in the morning.  I didn’t have to stress about pumping right away.  I have gotten to experience so much ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Dad's Salsa

My Dad makes the best salsa.  I grew up in New Mexico.  We are a bit picky about our salsa.  It is hands down my favorite.  And not just because he is my Dad.  Its actually brilliant in in its simplicity.  The ingredients are: Green Chiles Onions Canned diced tomatoes (petite if you ask his opinion) Cumin Salt Olive oil (for cooking the onions The important thing is to start with good roasted chile's.  The roasting is what gives them their flavor and allows the skin to blister and peel off.  I was lazy when I put up my chile the last time and just bagged everything with the skin on.  It actually tends to be a little easier to get the skin off once its been frozen.  For this batch I used 2 quart bags frozen chile's, 6 - 14.5 oz cans of diced tomatoes, 2 onions and seasonings to taste.   First step is to clean the chile's and chop them.  I could probably normally tolerate the chile's but now I have a little perso...
Post a Comment
Read more