Coach Kirstin

Those were the words I heard from my Dr this morning after I said "that was a lot" after he took the needle out of my toe and I took a few deep inhales after releasing my death grip on the table. I apparently have a torn ligament in my toe, still. I did it last fall prepping for my last fight. It got better after seeing him but I hurt it again this last training cycle. I tried telling him that I don't like needles but he looked at the tattoo that covers my entire thigh and just laughed. I also have a torn meniscus in my knee. Icing on the cake, I woke up with a bruise on my boob approximately the size of two fingers. Fighting breaks down my body. But it makes me better. I'm in the best shape of my life, odd that I've gotten in better shape as I have gotten older. It provides me with the mental fight to be able to get through anything. Except putting a needle into my toe.

I just threw out a Clementine .  It was my second one.  The first was great.  But I could tell the second was going to be bad.  The skin was thick.  Two pieces i n I gave up and tossed it.  I ’ m trying   to add more fruit to my diet.  To be honest, I don’t see much point in them.  I know I get some nutrients from them but the calories consumed to get those, just doesn’t seem worth it.  I say this off a fight cycle.  On cycle … I live for my fruit. But back to my alternate reality, where I throw out food when it doesn’t taste good.  I realized, I don’t eat anything that doesn’t taste good.  Even the healthy stuff that I don’t care much for the base flavor, I find a way to make it tasty for me to eat.  Like kale … add a little bacon and red wine vinegar and I can eat it for days.  Do you eat things because you are supposed to even thoug...

Initially it was such an uncomfortable thing. And now I've been this way for almost a year and a half. And I really like it. I do things on my own time and my own way. I have a great network of friends. But they get me and my space issues. And now I'm starting to date someone and its really hard. I like him and want to spend time with him but in baby steps. The honest truth is, I still prefer to spend time with my friends. And I feel like an asshole for being this way. My friends do have more rights to my time. Or do they? Or is he just not enough to steal me away? Or maybe I'm just not good at relationships. It's probably the later

I put an immense amount of pressure on myself when competing.  Who am I kidding, I put an immense amount of pressure on myself with almost everything.  Not that I wasn’t incredibly nervous, as always, about fighting yesterday but I was really looking forward to it.  It’s been almost 5 months since I fought.  I was looking forward to learning.  To the experience of fighting someone new for Muay Thai (I have had two smoker fights against the same person).  To learn something new about stepping into the ring.  To putting one more fight under my belt.  But my opponent withdrew at the last minute due to an injury from an earlier fight.  I’m still struggling to find the words to describe what that felt like.  It was 8 weeks of dieting, training, restricting myself, preparing mentally and physically, cutting water, not sleeping, stressing out and it burst in one wave of the ref’s hand with a no show.  It was...

Do you ever get so comfortable with just the way things are?  And just the idea of them being any different is uncomfortable? That’s me.  I like my life just the way it is.  I like my training during the weekdays and Saturday mornings.  I usually grab groceries on the night I sneak out a little early.  I give Thursday night, Saturday night and Sunday to my friends.  Almost every Sunday I have brunch with my friends at about the same time in the same place.  I try to take care of all my chores before I go so I can just hang out with them.  And it’s easy.  We catch up and laugh and I look forward to it.  Even if Im not feeling chatty, I can just hang with them.  The core group of people in my life, actually restore my energy.  Even as introvert.  But that’s my life and I like it.  And when something comes in to change it, I resist like a 3 year old throwing a temper tantrum.  Im doing this...

Death. It's this crazy eventuality we all face. I live my days with complete disregard for it. Unless I get on a motorcycle and then it's like we are in a pre-fight stare down. But it does get us. All of us. We can not avoid it. We can not pick it. Or we aren't supposed to but some of us have or have tried. I have known for the last ten years my Nanny (you may call her a grandma), has had numbered days. She was diagnosed with emphysema. It's not cureable, just treatable to a certain point to postpone the inevitable. I am the one that primarily takes care of my grandparents, though I am fortunate enough to have an uncle that is local and helps out a ton. Otherwise I may have packed them up and moved them into my house. Back to my Nanny. This lady is tough as nails. To live with my Papa for 50+ years you would have to be. But I have watched her slowly decide that she is ready. That she is done fighting. Even if I am not. She made the decision to stop taking prednis...

I'm not sure which is my favorite part of sushi: the wasabi or the soy sauce. The sushi is just a conduit for eating my two favorite parts. I also love any sushi that uses cucumbers. So this week in my green grocer delivery, I had 6 cucumbers. And since I can't seem to get enough "sushi" lately, I decided to pick up some wasabi and eat cucumbers dipped aka soaked in soy sauce and wasabi. It's honestly been the highlight of my day. Minus the bite that had a little too much wasabi and made my nose burn. Ah wasabi.