Coach Kirstin

Do you ever do things and your really not sure why? Some days I feel like that's the story of my life. Not in a bad way. Actually in a good way. I try to feel my way through things that I am unsure about (aka life and wtf am I doing). Maybe based a little more on intuition. Guided in life and all that other stuff. But lately I have this thing with sleeping diagonal across the bed. It's not that I dont fit, because I have had to do that to fit, it's actually perfect. It just feels more comfortable. I thought it might have been something on my subconscious about always sleeping in the same spot on my bed and it getting worn out. But I find myself at my parents house tonight and I am diagonal in the bed. Taking a job, letting go of negative people those are things you should get guided about. Why on earth would I be guided to sleeping diagonal in a perfectly well fitting bed?

I actually learned a lot about myself and my body’s reaction to a training cycle for my last fight.  The thing that finally set in is that I have to get 7 hours of sleep to be able to function the next morning at my job. It’s the just right amount that doesn’t take over the whole day and that allows me to not hit the snooze button 17 times before getting out of bed.  Funny, I used to sleep 3  or 4 hours a night in college and be fine.  I also used to drink a lot more alcohol and Mountain Dew.  The funny thing is even when I give my body to the opportunity to sleep that much, sometimes it doesn’t.  And then I’m worthless.  I could barely get myself together enough last night to get in the shower before I passed out.  And then I wake up just short of 6 hours later.  Sleeping on my sore shoulder, which is most likely the reason I woke up.  But I laid there for another 50 minutes before deciding to just ...

Sometimes an end can be a sad thing. Sometimes it was just meant to be. Or sometimes it's just a function of where your at in life. The crazy thing about a relationship is to think about how two people who can get along have to find each other at point in their lives that works out for both of them. And then to continue through life like that. As your lives grow and change. As people come in and out. As your priorities shift. As you learn what really matters to you. To make a relationship work through that is a really crazy thing.

Yesterday I went to the grocery store and it was like going to a candy store. There are so many things I haven't eaten in the last 6 weeks. I pretty much ate just meat, veggies, cheese, yogurt, eggs and milk. Because I know my vices and they can become over whelming, I just avoided most of the grocery store. But yesterday it was a play land. I got coco krispies, pop tarts, salami and cheese. It went really well with the box of girl scout cookies and Chinese food I ate. Yes there is a fat kid in me trying desperately to get out. And then I realized the other things I was looking forward to this week. Not having to cook every single meal so I could keep tabs on how much of what I was eating. Not having to eat chicken. Drinking something other than water and coconut water. Not having to do laundry because I needed training clothes for the week (and marinating training clothes is enough to make anyone yak). Cleaning my house. Cleaning out my car because I feel like I've been livin...

So in my career I feel kind of lucky.  I have made it 9 years and only ever been responsible for managing 1 employee.  That’s the beauty of being a project manager, responsibility for a project and its outcome but not for the people.  Managing people is a lot of work.  But it’s one of those things that must be done.  It’s how you create good employees.  I had amazing managers for almost my entire career that taught me a lot about how to do my job but also about life.  I have been trying, some days more successfully than others to, share the things I have learned.   And then I took on my new job.  I have 29 people reporting into me at the moment and a few at a second level.  It’s been a growth experience learning to deal with so many personalities, from so many technical disciplines or maybe not so technical.  I’m responsible for enabling them into good opportunities.  And I’m also re...

So I have gotten great entertainment the last 3 days watching people's reaction to the bruise on my face. It's pretty clear I got hit in the mouth. Almost everyone looks, looks away and then tries to look again without being quite so obvious. Some of the highlights: The angry looks any male who hangs around me gets. Greeting one of my employee's for his first day and he asks "what did you do get in a fight?" Straight faced as possible "yes". One of my peers joking "who hit you in the mouth?" Me: "The girl I had a fight with." The look on his face was priceless as he tried to cover his shock. Probably the best was interviewing someone today and watching him try not to stare at the bruise. I realize it can be a serious thing to see a female with a bruise on her face. I am not making light of that. But if I didn't find the humor in it, I would honestly feel a little self conscious.

So I was actually given the best thing the world can offer, a sister. We have fought the equivalent of world wars over the years, some lasting almost as long. But I love her no matter what. I admire and look up to her. But when I was 10 I was given the gift of a stepbrother when my dad remarried. We shared a birthday but he was the same age as my sister. And instead of becoming opposing forces we joined against my sister. Hey childhood can be rough when there is three and one has to be the tiebreaker. We were always close. He was my advice went it came to guys. He was more of a big brother than a little brother. We took different paths as adults and he found the most amazing woman ever, Megan. I on the other hand chose boys which has been fun. Anyhow, back to the point. The last year has been a little rough for me and my little brother stepped right back in to being my big brother and taking care of me. In that year M&M had the most amazing little boy, Gavin. No secret kids aren...

The weekend after I found out about my fight one of my coaches said "I tell my guys three things...and 3 is learn something." I have tried to keep track this whole time of what I was learning. It wasn't just technique. Though I did learn a lot about that. I learned about peaking and the cycle. What my body feels like going through that. That I hate the sauna. That I already over hydrate. That there is nothing quite like grape pedialyte after a weighin. I eat A LOT of salt. I have the most patient and amazing friends. I love my teammates and coaches. I love each of my coaches for different reasons. Getting punched isn't that fun but it's not that bad. It's a lot more fun to punch someone else. I'm not eating chicken for a while. I learned to listen to my coaches even when I want to do something else. I learned to control my adrenaline. I learned how I react in the cage and where my frustration point is. And there is nothing quite like that feeling. I can...

So you never realize how much a team can mean until they bring you up to another level.  I can put in all the work and time in the mat I want but its the team that pulls you up to your best.  For the last 3 weeks people have come out of the woodwork to help.  My coaches and teammates are tired, they just came off a cycle that most of the gym was on.  But they are still there, helping even when I know they would just like a day off.  They check in on me.  Give me feedback.  Give me encouragement.  Keep pushing me to be better than what I thought was my best.  That's the power of a team.

There are just certain numbers when they come up, you hold your breath for the news on the other end because you know it won't be good. Today I got one of those. I knew it was in the works. Every time I talk to my Nanny (Grandma) I hear her emphysema taking its toll. She is at the max of medicines they can give her. Her breathing is getting difficult. Though I'm far away and helpless, she won't tell me how bad it is. They are funny like that. My grandparents. They have always been there for me. Some of my best memories. I would do anything for them. And do. And yet they still hide from me how bad their health is. "We don't want you to worry" It's what they always tell me after they get out of the hospital, go to the dr, etc. It's a very tough thing watching the end of a life arrive. A life you hold very dear. And there is nothing you can do. Life takes its course regardless of what you want. What your ready for. What you think you can handle. Doesn...