Yesterday I went to the grocery store and it was like going to a candy store. There are so many things I haven't eaten in the last 6 weeks. I pretty much ate just meat, veggies, cheese, yogurt, eggs and milk. Because I know my vices and they can become over whelming, I just avoided most of the grocery store. But yesterday it was a play land. I got coco krispies, pop tarts, salami and cheese. It went really well with the box of girl scout cookies and Chinese food I ate. Yes there is a fat kid in me trying desperately to get out. And then I realized the other things I was looking forward to this week. Not having to cook every single meal so I could keep tabs on how much of what I was eating. Not having to eat chicken. Drinking something other than water and coconut water. Not having to do laundry because I needed training clothes for the week (and marinating training clothes is enough to make anyone yak). Cleaning my house. Cleaning out my car because I feel like I've been living in it for the last few weeks. And it smells like a locker room. Catching up with friends. Having a drink with my friends. Riding my motorcycle. Sitting on my couch and watching tv. And kind of just pretending like I'm a "normal" person for the week. Though I'm sure I'll be bored of it after a while.
So I have thought about this for a while. Do I actually write this post? Do I put my dirty laundry out there for everyone? Or the handful that read my blog. And if I do, what do I say? Do I slam those involved? Do I take the high road? When is a “good” time to put it out there? A few days under my belt and there is probably no better time. So no secret, my ex-boyfriend was my coach. That worked out mildly well while we were together but add a breakup and somehow it just doesn’t work out as smoothly. Add a few of the worst things a person could do to another in there and disaster doesn’t even begin to describe. But I have this eternal belief that I can make any situation work. That I can fix things. It’s what makes me good at my job. I’m an eternal optimist. But it’s what causes me to not be so good at my personal life. Even when things are clearly not good, I still think I can fix it and make it right...
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