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That Phone Call

There are just certain numbers when they come up, you hold your breath for the news on the other end because you know it won't be good. Today I got one of those. I knew it was in the works. Every time I talk to my Nanny (Grandma) I hear her emphysema taking its toll. She is at the max of medicines they can give her. Her breathing is getting difficult. Though I'm far away and helpless, she won't tell me how bad it is. They are funny like that. My grandparents. They have always been there for me. Some of my best memories. I would do anything for them. And do. And yet they still hide from me how bad their health is. "We don't want you to worry" It's what they always tell me after they get out of the hospital, go to the dr, etc.
It's a very tough thing watching the end of a life arrive. A life you hold very dear. And there is nothing you can do. Life takes its course regardless of what you want. What your ready for. What you think you can handle. Doesn't really matter. As much as I like to think things are under my control, I'm reminded everyday that none of it is. I'm at the will of things bigger than me.

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