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Being responsible

I like to think Im responsible. And probably compared to most people I am.  But in reality, Im not the person I think I should be.  The person I think I should be saves more, doesn’t have credit card debt, clears her to do list, does the maintenance on her house, volunteers at the animal shelter, is a foster dog mom, calls her grandfather more often, has a will and a living will.  The list could probably go on and on.  But at the top of the list is generally be more financially responsible.  I thought I was doing the smart thing 8 years ago and let my now ex-husband talk me into buying a house.  It was so easy.  The market was so good and within 3 weeks of looking we had an accepted offer on a house.  2 years later we were getting divorced.  The majority of the things we had planned to do to the house were still undone and I wasn’t able to pay the bills by myself.  I got a roommate, got a few promotions and I have it covered.  But with the divorce, my life started to move into DC.  I started Krav Maga in DC, mostly because that’s where my sister was living.  Then most of my friends were living in DC, then my boyfriend was and then I moved in with him.  So I got a tenant. Well 2 years later we weren’t together but I still had a tenant.  And my life was in DC, so I got an apartment in DC.  Because I love DC.  And it was more convenient.  I ended up getting a new tenant about a year ago and he pretty much destroyed my place.  New floors, paint and lots of cleaning later, I wasn’t having any luck finding a tenant.  Having evicted him for non-payment and 2 more months of no rent, new floors and a new water heater, I was becoming more and more financially irresponsible.  So I made a list of reasons to stay in my apartment and reasons to move to my condo.  The list went about like this: Move to Condo – All logical and financially responsible reasons.  Stay in apartment/ DC – All feel good/ make me happy reasons.  So I decided to the responsible thing and move back to my condo.  I can’t say Im dreading it.  Will be nice to have a washing machine in my place and the bamboo floors are pretty amazing.  Oh and my room has blackout blinds so I can sleep in as long as I want.  But Im not happy to leave the city.  To leave my friends.  To leave the post-divorce me that found herself in the sea transient people.  But the post-divorce me is also trying to be responsible.    

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