For the last week, well really the last 5 months, I have tried to hold it together to be strong for my Papa. The death of my Nanny was imminent but it doesn't mean it was any easier on him. She also took care of everything, for the better part of their 60 years. We planned on the memorial of June so all the family could make it, which was amazingly wonderful, but it took a toll on him. He had 5 months to worry about all of the details. I took care of us much as possible but we still had our snafu's. Though as strong as I like to think I was, it was all the people I had helping me be strong. That I would call and vent to, that would be logical, that would tell me its ok and bring me back into reality. As strong as we think we are, its really those that support us that makes us stronger.
So I have thought about this for a while. Do I actually write this post? Do I put my dirty laundry out there for everyone? Or the handful that read my blog. And if I do, what do I say? Do I slam those involved? Do I take the high road? When is a “good” time to put it out there? A few days under my belt and there is probably no better time. So no secret, my ex-boyfriend was my coach. That worked out mildly well while we were together but add a breakup and somehow it just doesn’t work out as smoothly. Add a few of the worst things a person could do to another in there and disaster doesn’t even begin to describe. But I have this eternal belief that I can make any situation work. That I can fix things. It’s what makes me good at my job. I’m an eternal optimist. But it’s what causes me to not be so good at my personal life. Even when things are clearly not good, I still think I can fix it and make it right...
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