Coach Kirstin

To say I am a daddy's girl is putting it mildly. I am just like my dad in so many ways. I often describe myself as the female version of him. I adore him and he is my sounding board. He taught me to think through things logically and how to make the best choice for me. Though I still call him to confirm that I am making the right choice. Unfortunately we have the same sense of humor, which means we can entertain each other with our jokes on our Sunday night phone call. His opinion of everything I do matters. So tonight at dinner when we were discussing my fighting, my parents said they wish i didn't do it but am happy to see me doing something I love. Later my dad pulled me aside to tell me that he doesn't like it but will always support me. It was the best and worst thing he could have said all in one sentence.

I try not to watch my fights. Watching them, even the wins, makes me mad at all the things I did wrong. It's all I can see. I hate everything I see. I watch them with my coach the week after, I get his feedback and try and let it go. But yesterday I was written up in an article and they had the video of my second fight in it. So I watched it. And for the first time, I was proud of some of the things I did. And then I watched my third fight. And I watched my takedowns and was happy with what I saw. I still saw everything that was wrong but for the first time I saw something's that I was proud of.

Yes I already compete in plenty of things.  There really is no need to take on another thing to compete in.  But there is.  My competitions seem to be feast or famine.  Almost everything over the last 2 years has been within a 4-6 week grouping.  And then I don't compete again for another 6 months.  And I have tons of anxiety wondering if I have ring rust and put extra pressure on myself since I don't get to compete that often.  Then this summer Nate Diaz came for a seminar and talked about doing the triathlons and that they were just another way to be actively competing.  That we, as athletes, should compete as often as possible to avoid the things I mentioned above.  Shortly after the seminar one of my mma teammates asked me to do a crossfit competition as his partner.  I initially objected but decided that I needed to do it anyhow.  I have to admit, I really wasn't excited about it.  Actually I still don't understand the exc...

The last couple months have been some time away from the gym for me.   I was physically limited by the injury to my finger and about the same time I started having stomach trouble.   I am unfortunately no stranger to stomach trouble and had an ulcer about 5 years ago.   It felt like that all over again.   So on top of not being able to train as much as I want, I was eating everything I shouldn’t to settle my stomach, lots of bread and rice.   Needless to say my weight got the highest its ever been in my life.     But with all of this going on, all I was worried about was my weight.   Not getting healthy but being crazy obsessed with my weight.   Because I hear it constantly “ your getting fat, I can see it right there ,” “ your butts getting big ” or just the general “ don’t get fat ”.   It all makes me feel a bit crazy.   And it was pushing me away from the thing I loved. Taking away that love and making it something I hat...

This weekend was our girls trip. Every year we try and get together with our sorority sisters. My sisters are some of my funnest, craziest and most treasured memories from college. I actually didn't pledge until the spring of my sophomore year. I was well on my way of my own path but what they added was even more valuable. My favorite memories are of living in the house, all of us getting ready together, swapping clothes, getting our make up or hair done and of course outfit checks. This weekend was filled with laughs and craziness. But the parts I enjoyed the most were getting ready together just like we always had. And a lazy Saturday morning as we re-hydrated and waited for the Advil to kick in, laughing at our antics and telling stories. The conversations are a little more grown up but they are also still the crazy girls I love. It was a great weekend and I can't wait until next time. But I'm exhausted and will be taking a nap for the rest of my flight home and enjoying...

I used to hate my stepmom. And she felt the same about me. We had some knockdown drag out fights and my poor dad was caught in the middle. And for all the time we as a family spent in counseling and my individual time. It wasn't what made a difference in our relationship. It was life. Growing up and learning to deal with stuff. And realizing we are far from perfect. And being able to say your sorry. My parents have been together for over 20 years and it's only in the latter half have we come together as a family. And now my stepmom is in my life in so many ways and I feel luck to have her there. But the reason is because she doesn't have to be there, she wants to be there. We choose to keep in touch and talk. And that relationship is probably one of my favorites. It's like a friend. You get to choose that they are in your life. But I am extra lucky because she is my stepmom.

We have all said it before. And we all have a type. I was out with my friend a few weeks ago on a Saturday night, he knows my type before I ever say anything and I his.   So when I mentioned someone I saw later, he already knew who I was talking about. But your "type" is actually a true thing. There have been studies where blindly we are attracted to the smell of our genetic opposite, it's evolution at its simplest. But that Sunday I was at brunch with my girlfriend and we were talking about a guy she had gone out with who wasn't really her type but then she commented "my type doesn't exist or he does but he's going to cheat on me." Both of which are true because we have a similar type. Since then I have been thinking a lot about my type and maybe I don’t know what it is.   Or that my "type" is something I'm not paying attention to.   I began thinking "what are my basic must have's of someone I date?" The problem is I...