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Marine Corps Marathon

The MCM as it is so often referred holds a special place in my life.  It was my first marathon.  I did it with my sister.  I ran on a stress fracture that turned into a broken tibia or your shin bone....yes I have always been this stubborn.  And the training schedule held my life together when I was about to fall apart.  I was getting divorced.  I don't deal with emotions very well and definitely not my own.  But the training schedule and plan gave me something to do, even when all I wanted was to sit home and feel sorry for myself.  The best part was my girl friend Jennifer met me in Crystal City at about mile 21 to run the end with me.  If it wasn't for her, I know I would have given up.  But she kept me talking and going.  So the year after, I had a dear friend who had turned his life around by picking up running and was running the MCM that year.  I offered to run the last 6 with him.  So my sister and I cheered runners on until I saw him and then I hoped up and joined the race.  He was in that same miserable spot I was.  So I just kept him talking.  What was friends became great friends over next 6.2 miles.  I learned all about where his life was at, and became a shoulder for him to lean on over the next 6 months as he separated from his wife.  And then an unexpected email.  Shawn had passed.  He had taken his life while on business travel.  It shook everything I knew.  I had talked to him just the week before.  There was no indication of that level of desperation.  Id been there, I knew what to be aware of.  Or so I thought.  I questioned whether I was even paying attention to my friend.  Did I miss all the signs that he was in trouble? Someone said something to me that finally put me at ease.  There are two points in suicide 1: the cry for help and 2: nothing can stop you.  I had to let go that my friend was in a happier place.

I still think of him often.  But Im thinking of him this weekend as I will be running the end again with my dear roomie Jenn.  She has trained her little butt off.  Her parents are here.  And we will be finishing the marathon as hurricane Sandy approaches.  I have no doubt our already great friend ship will be cemented over those last 6.2 miles and am looking forward to it.

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