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Facing my fears, one mile at a time

So for what ever reason I doubt myself and my ability to do things. Example: I went over to my friends house to use his gravity boots. Well getting on the bar was a perilous activity. Not because I was unable to do it but I doubted that I could. So he got a chair and without any effort I swung myself up. He laughed, I shrugged my shoulders. But this incident is not an uncommon event. And the biggest example is riding my motorcycle. It scares the shit out of me. Especially at anything over ~35. So that same friend doesn't understand this. I can step into a cage or ring, but can't ride my motorcycle. And admittedly part of it is time. I need more of it to practice. But most of my time goes to the gym. So I'm not making any progress at it.
So I met this guy and talked him out of us riding together and into me being his passenger. On more than one occasion I almost backed out. But the moment of truth arrived and off we went. I thought my heart was going explode from pure panic. This is when I wish I had Xanax. And then I realized we were getting on the freeway. I half considered jumping off the bike at the last light. But that really would have made an ass of me so I stuck it out. And was terrified. And then I managed to sneak a glance at the speedometer, 83, and that was probably the slowest we went. My leg cramped from squeezing him so tight. And then I had to laugh because I realized he had to have felt my death grip. We stopped a bit later and we laughed about it. The next two rides got easier and we took a turn with crazy lean. Death grip again. But this time when we were going that fast, I just tucked in and relaxed. It was more fun.

And now I'm ready to get back on my bike.


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