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Three weeks and counting

I knew going from my job to being home all the time would be the hardest thing I had done yet. I like working. For the most part I like my job, I actually really just like the team I work with which makes all the other bs tolerable. I was working longer days so I could have a day off every other week but it was wearing me out towards the end of the pregnancy so I switched to a regular 8 hour day. Most days. I still had to make myself leave and I was still responding to emails after I left. 

Fast forward a few months and not much has changed about that behavior. I kind of worry about work but not really. The hardest change is being home all day. It's the most wonderful and amazing thing I have ever done. But I also can't be stuck in the house all day. So we have had a few "I have to get out" moments. We went out for sushi on Friday, we went to the the grocery store (even though we went the day before), we went to Dads office and we went out to lunch today. Miss McKenna is a super star, she takes it all in stride and usually falls asleep as long as we stay moving. 

We had our first bath without tears. Helps when you put a bit more water in the tub so she isn't freezing. Lesson learned. 

I had to stop reading baby books. Sort of. I felt like an awful parent and was convinced she was going to grow up with a low IQ. I had to remember she is only 2 weeks and change, I couldn't have messed her up that bad yet. 

I also had a freak out moment thinking of all the articles I had read about abuse that infants and children had been the subject of. It made me even more sick than the first time I read them. I can't imagine letting anything happen to her. Thus begins my non-stop worrying about her. I will try to not inhibit her but I am sure I will. We have already had disagreements about how much sunlight she should get. 



We are working on sleeping while not attached to me. Nights are ok but day time naps don't last very long without me. Though a huge part of me doesn't want her to get used to sleeping without me. Thus far I have written this whole post with one hand while holding her with the other as she sleeps. Seems reasonable to me. 
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