Skip to main content

Friends

Why do we have friends? Is it what they provide us? Or what we provide them? Or both. Thinking about it, friends are kind of a selfish thing we do for ourselves. We like them for what they add to our lives. For the support they provide us. For the things they do for us. It's not what I get to do for them that is why I like them, though after the friendship has developed that part does become important, but what I get from our friendship. I was thinking about this because I have a longtime friend (probably 4 or 5 years) who was an exceptionally good friend after my breakup but despite my repeatedly setting boundaries, they are ignored. So it makes me evaluate this friendship. Is it even something I want to keep if this person doesn't respect and believe what I have told them. The behavior of this person is causing me to cancel and limit our interactions, so I have almost ended it but I was wondering if it was really a friendship. Or was it always just that self serving thing we do as people? Can I really fault him for doing what we all do in any friendship, looking to serve our interests.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Untitled

So I have thought about this for a while.  Do I actually write this post?  Do I put my dirty laundry out there for everyone? Or the handful that read my blog.  And if I do, what do I say? Do I slam those involved?  Do I take the high road?  When is a “good” time to put it out there?  A few days under my belt and there is probably no better time. So no secret, my ex-boyfriend was my coach.  That worked out mildly well while we were together but add a breakup and somehow it just doesn’t work out as smoothly.  Add a few of the worst things a person could do to another in there and disaster doesn’t even begin to describe.  But I have this eternal belief that I can make any situation work.  That I can fix things.  It’s what makes me good at my job.  I’m an eternal optimist. But it’s what causes me to not be so good at my personal life.  Even when things are clearly not good, I still think I can fix it and make it right...

Defensive eating

I like to think I have complete control over what i eat, how much and when. It's my body, who else would have control? Over the last week, I have realized the level of influence the person you live with can affect it. I have lived for a while with someone who has no self control and thus sees a package of cookies on the counter and eats the entire thing or eats an entire 1 lbs bag of PB M&m's in one sitting. So instead of eating just one of my favorite cookie, I would eat 3 or 4. Yes I know cookies will not be gone forever but in that instant I become territorial and eat more than I normally would. It makes me wonder about the strange behaviors those in large families must have about food. Clearly our parents define a lot about the relationship we have with food but this realization brings to light a whole new level of influence on my eating. There has been a package of cookies on the counter that's been there since Monday and is still half full.

A Friendly Little Bet

So I like to think I take very calculated risks. That may sound like the dumbest thing I've ever said (though I can guarantee I've said worse) considering my extracurricular activities. But that's still a calculated risk, given the right training it isn't too crazy. So over lunch on Sunday I got into a disagreement over my body fat and what weight I could cut to. I believe at my current weight of 147 that my body fat is over 20%, he disagreed. So naturally this devolved into a friendly bet since I'm doing a Bod Pod test on Thursday. The looser had to wash the others motorcycle.  Not really fair since I think I’m right and mine is brand new.  But then a real wager was put down and there was no backing down, especially because I still think I'm right. Until I told my roommate and her response “there is no way and that’s going all over facebook when it happens.” So in a slight moment of panic, I considered “throwing” the bet but we’...