Skip to main content

Selfish?


Sometimes I wonder if being single is just where I am more comfortable.  Or maybe I’m just selfish.  Or maybe I've spent too much of my life trying to please others and I just want to do what pleases me.  It pleases me to sleep in my own bed and be on my own schedule.  If I'm running late, the only person impacted is me.  If I want to waste away an hour laying on the floor petting the cat, no one gets irritated.  I love spending time with my friends, but I’m also a notorious canceler.  The gym makes me happy.  And I arrange my life around that.  My friends know that I will give them as much of me as I can spare, but sometimes that means putting up with a smelly me that just got done at the gym.  Sometimes I think I'm just not ready to date.  That I'm in a selfish phase.  That it wouldn't be such a big deal to me to share my time and be considerate of someone if I was ready.  That things wouldn't irritate me the way they do.  Or as I told a friend the other day "I already have 6 men in my life telling me what to do, I don't really need any more."  I was referring to my coaches. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Untitled

So I have thought about this for a while.  Do I actually write this post?  Do I put my dirty laundry out there for everyone? Or the handful that read my blog.  And if I do, what do I say? Do I slam those involved?  Do I take the high road?  When is a “good” time to put it out there?  A few days under my belt and there is probably no better time. So no secret, my ex-boyfriend was my coach.  That worked out mildly well while we were together but add a breakup and somehow it just doesn’t work out as smoothly.  Add a few of the worst things a person could do to another in there and disaster doesn’t even begin to describe.  But I have this eternal belief that I can make any situation work.  That I can fix things.  It’s what makes me good at my job.  I’m an eternal optimist. But it’s what causes me to not be so good at my personal life.  Even when things are clearly not good, I still think I can fix it and make it right...
1 comment
Read more

Weekly eating

The struggle is real.  Between working and them finding time to eat some thing other than takeout pizza, do my physical therapy, spend time with the baby and the husband it is seriously hard to fit it all in. Oh and sleep.  The older I get, the more sleep becomes non negotiable. We are also trying to eat with McKenna so she sees us eat and follows suit. It also allows me to give her things off my plate, which she definitely is more interested by.  This has actually been a huge struggle as our window in the evening is so limited with her, I don't want to spend it cooking and not spending time with her.  So the goal is to keep our meals simple and do as much ahead of time as possible. The downside to this is the Husband and I usually spend time chatting and relaxing during our meals as it’s always been our alone time together. But sleep. So I came up with a plan for the week and cooked the majority of our food on Sunday.  I really only made salsa because my freez...
Post a Comment
Read more

Defensive eating

I like to think I have complete control over what i eat, how much and when. It's my body, who else would have control? Over the last week, I have realized the level of influence the person you live with can affect it. I have lived for a while with someone who has no self control and thus sees a package of cookies on the counter and eats the entire thing or eats an entire 1 lbs bag of PB M&m's in one sitting. So instead of eating just one of my favorite cookie, I would eat 3 or 4. Yes I know cookies will not be gone forever but in that instant I become territorial and eat more than I normally would. It makes me wonder about the strange behaviors those in large families must have about food. Clearly our parents define a lot about the relationship we have with food but this realization brings to light a whole new level of influence on my eating. There has been a package of cookies on the counter that's been there since Monday and is still half full.
1 comment
Read more