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Harder than I thought

Today was probably my most challenging on many levels. My Papa and I had to go to the funeral home to make the last of the arrangements and go to the cemetery to make the arrangements there.  I know he's been very stressed about this but he seemed to be doing as well as I could expect.  He made it through one decision at the funeral home and then started to struggle, so I did what I do best and took over making decisions without hesitation.  Despite the upset it caused him earlier this year, he seemed to be relieved to not have to make any decisions.  This continued for the rest of the day.  There were times when I thought I was just going to crawl under the chair and cry, but then I would look at my grandfather struggling.  And realized one of us had to be strong.  And it wasn't him.  So I was strong for the both of us.

But my biggest challenge has been eating.  I knew it would be tough to stick to my diet while I was here.  I didn't realize that I would be eating ice berg lettuce, rubbery chicken and corn.  I thought I would be able to find things on the menu where we were eating.  I was wrong.  So I have picked up groceries and will cook them up tomorrow but looks like I will basically be eating at home and then watching my grandfather eat when we go out.  It is what it is.  I made this decision and now I have to own up to it.  

Comments

  1. UnknownJune 18, 2013 at 1:07 PM

    Well first of all I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. Going through something like that can be so tough let alone having to make decisions regarding it. I'm sure your Papa was more than grateful to have you with him!

    And yes, maintaining an eating regimen while away from home and the places you know and trust is always hard. I totally feel for you! It's really sad to think that there are places out there that just don't have access to good healthy food. Unfortunately there's not much nutritional value in ice burg lettuce, rubbery chicken and corn.

    But you're a fighter so keep your spirits up, and if you need to vent or anything you know where I can be found.

    Cousin Dan (incase you don't know who Diesel B Love is)

    Oh, and I like your blog! Glad I found it!

    ReplyDelete

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